Stepping Up to Work With Spirit : A (Initially Reluctant) Psychic Medium's Story

Photo and Graphic by me

I am a Psychic Medium.

It took me a really, really, really long time to admit that. It took me even longer to be able to say it out loud. In all honesty, I still struggle a little with getting the phrase out of my mouth in any other place than the internet.

Now, being that both of these phrases tend to be thought of in the social zeitgeist as delusional and laughable, it might appear as though I have a reason to hide or deny these parts of myself. Yet, whilst I'll admit that coming up against said zeitgeist can be intimidating, I've actually never really experienced any ridicule or disbelief from anybody in person. I suppose that when you can accurately hone in on what a person is privately going through in their life at the time, or recall a moment from their childhood that only they know about, it tends to quiet most nay-sayers.

I was also raised in a Spiritualist family in which communication with Spirit was considered a normal part of our lives.

For as long as I can remember, my father would join in with monthly meetings with my Nana and his siblings in which they would perform energetic healing and work with Spirit to help others.

My Dad, a pretty straight laced kinda guy who worked in a Kitchen showroom, along with my Nana, a carer, my Aunt, an executive in a large engineering company, and my Uncle, a plumber, all gathered together to work with Spirit. They were unassuming, private about it in that usual British way, but it was never a secret or a shame.

When I was afraid of monsters and ghosts as a child, my Dad told me how to make them go away. Apparently I did in fact punch one in the nose and ran into their room one night to tell them about it, although I don't remember this.

My Baptism photos were basically unusable due to having people shaped shadows in them (Spirits like to party!), and I was always taught very seriously that we each have guardians and guides, and never to touch a Ouija Board. This is a conviction I've carried ever since... trust me, there are better ways and you really don't need one to talk to anybody worth talking to.

My paternal grandfather apparently held me as a baby and said that we were going to be good friends. He passed about a year after I was born, and has been one of my primary guides and guardians ever since. My Nana joined him a few years back. My family knows this, and it's normal.

My parents once took me to a Medium who told them that I would make a pretty spectacular one myself, if I ever decided to go down that path.

All this to say - working with Spirit has always been just a regular thing to do in my mind. It's as easy as putting on your socks. Our guides are easy to contact and talk to, they simply exist in a different layer than us, if you like, and they're grounded in the energies of Love that permeate the light.

So why was I reluctant to embrace it?

Well, the thing I found really difficult about being a Medium was turning it off.

I was incredibly sensitive as a child, and struggled with night terrors and a generally nervous disposition purely because I found it really hard to shut out spirit communication. Even though I knew how to do it, my fear often meant that I didn't believe I could, or I would be unable to tell the difference between imagination and something real.

The key to controlling your openness to Spirit is knowing that you can do it. Ultimately, you have to be the one to control it, to say Yes or No. You have to know that you call the shots on who or what can be in your energetic space and awareness. You have to be diligent about what doors you open and you have to make sure you close them.

This isn't said to be scary. In my experience, the vast, vast majority of spirits are harmless and friendly. They might be passing through, or they might be curious. They might want to pass something on to you, or even just chat to you. They're normal people who might just be like one of my Dad's guides, a former math teacher who wears a sweater vest.

It's important to know that there are those who aren't interested in a friendly chat though. Some are interested in fear, and act with the intent to cause it. Some are confused or afraid, and this can make them act out in scary ways, even if they aren't trying to frighten you. Some don't want to respect your boundaries and will try to talk to you whenever they think they can get your attention. Some send mixed up messages that come across like a nightmare.

The reason I was reluctant to embrace the title of a Medium was because I struggled to control my skills for a good portion of my life.

I went from a highly sensitive childhood into a tumultuous and abusive five year relationship with somebody who enjoyed living in a fearful, dramatic environment and drew like minded spirits towards him. Even when I could 'turn it off' for myself, I was embroiled with his actions, his thoughts, and the consequences of them. I had experiences with spirits who were attracted to the attention he gave them and the enjoyment he got from the fear they gave him, and even though most weren't particularly interested in me, I got caught in the crossfire simply by being around him.

I took that experience and spun it up in a cocoon, hiding it away and pushing it as far down in my consciousness as possible. Even whilst I was happy to read tarot and oracle cards, developing my divination skills, and walked a Pagan path, I was absolutely adamant that I wanted nothing to do with Spirit on a one to one level. I was okay with things that involved Intuition in a broad sense, but the moment I sensed any particular person or being trying to talk to me, I would shut down hard.

What changed?

A few things really.

The change in my stance on work as a Medium really started to morph a few years ago, when I became friends with an amazing person named Raven Magill.

Raven happened to be working as a medium at the time, and I remember one afternoon we sat down to Skype and got talking about our experiences with Spirit.

It came out, as things do, that I was firmly entrenched in my 'I can't see you, I can't hear you, la la la' method of coping with things at that time, and at that point I had no intention of even opening those doors one iota.

Raven, in her gentle but no nonsense way, listened to my fears and reasons for shutting out Spirit, and then just as gently helped me re-frame things. My fears were acknowledged, but it was also acknowledged that I was letting them be my frame of reference for the future, and I was cutting myself off from a part of me that could actually be incredibly beneficial and healthy for me.

It was bought to my attention that by shutting up that part of myself in a dark room, I wasn't allowing healing to come to my experiences. I wasn't allowing change, and so I was stuck in fear. All of the worst things I remembered were the only things I thought about when I thought about Spirit, and they created an energy of fear that kept me going in circles, refusing to look at things differently.

Slowly, ever so slowly, I began to consider that things could be different.

I began to, very carefully, invite my guides back into my life. I went from side eyeing my Grandad in the corner of the room (because I always knew he was there, even when I was pretending I didn't) to inviting him to talk to me and show himself to me.

Knowing that I've always been especially nervous about seeing things (I just find it kind of jarring), my guides began instead to send me feelings, images or metaphors that materialized in my mind rather than from outside senses. This is known as Claircognizance and Clairsentience, clear knowing and clear feeling, and these are now my primary clair-senses, although I am also Clairvoyant and Clairaudient (clear seeing and clear hearing).

Something else changed too.

As I gained confidence in working with Spirit, starting this time from a place of very clear boundaries and rules for engagement, I noticed that Spirit naturally became a bigger and bigger part of my work.

I began getting more clients for tarot and oracle readings, and their guides began showing up with greater frequency. Sometimes I would get a message for somebody during their Reflexology or Acupuncture treatments. On the occasions when I would speak up about the messages I received, I was met with the joy of recognition and the comfort of knowing that their guides were there to help them. Everybody likes to know they're not alone, and none of us truly are.

I'll always remember seeing brightly colored, iridescent Kingfishers in my mind's eye whilst working on a Client's Heart chakra one day. This client was a Personal Assistant, who had never expressed any 'woo' inclinations at all, and so I was pretty apprehensive about mentioning that I was seeing Kingfishers in her feet!

I had such a strong feeling that I needed to tell her though, so I spluttered out, "This is going to sound really, really weird, but do Kingfishers mean anything to you? I keep seeing them around your Heart."

The light that came into her face... I really will never forget it... she told me that there were a lot of Kingfisher's around her childhood home, and that she and her father would always watch them together. Kingfisher's stood for her father, who she had been thinking about a lot recently, and this was his way of letting her know he was there.

That experience really changed something for me. I think that was the first time I really, truly saw how this could be a gift, a way for me to help others. It didn't seem so scary, or such a burden anymore. I started to realize that I could engage in it in a healthy way.

Which brings us to now.

The vast majority of my work with clients now directly involves Spirit, specifically bringing through messages from spirit guides to support, encourage and give guidance and love.

This shift wasn't really a conscious one. I simply began to get more and more messages from Spirit for my clients, and worked them into my readings and work more and more, until I noticed that at least 75% of each reading was being transmitted to me directly from a guide.

I have very clear rules when working with Spirit now in regards to who can be present, who can pass messages through and who I want to communicate with. I always and only work with guides in the Light, that being those who have passed over fully to Spirit, and always invite my own guides to sessions to bring grounding, facilitate smooth transmission of messages and to provide protection.

I very clearly open and close sessions, inviting in and dismissing respectfully when everything is complete. For a long time I didn't do this, and I noticed I was often very tired and drained. Keeping an open connection with Spirit, even with Light, is tiring for the human body.

Stepping up to the plate to fully own my skills as a Psychic Medium also allowed me to recognize where these skills crossed over into other areas of my life. I realized that mediumship wasn't just speaking with human spirits, but also with angels, animals, plants and rocks. I also realized that the skills I bought to readings and work as a Psychic Medium, those of compassion, empathy and energetic protection, also served me in my other work with people, even work not directly connected to Spirituality.

Opening up to and embracing Mediumship allowed me to channel the art for two Oracle decks, the Sacred Cocoon Oracle and my forthcoming Divine Portal Oracle, which truly are a collaboration with Spirit of which I am incredibly proud. I see and hear about how my deck is able to help others every day, and that is a true joy to my soul.

Owning these skills has come with realizing my own strength and power, my ability to control the energy that I allow around me. It has helped me to gain confidence in myself and to communicate with more clarity. It has stripped away the fear of being my authentic self, and I become less afraid and more brave every day.

The journey has been frought at times, and has had major twists and turns, but I am so grateful for it and for where I stand today. I am truly grateful for the gift of doing what I do, and for being able to do what is for the highest good of myself and everyone I encounter.

Blessings to you,

Lottie

P.S: If you'd like to book a reading with me, I'd absolutely love to read for you!

You can view my current offerings here, which can be purchased through Etsy, or via Paypal if you prefer.

I'm also more than happy to work with you to create a custom reading tailored to your needs, and provide readings at a variety of price points. I firmly believe in providing compassionate, loving service to all of my clients, whether it's for a $7 1 card Mini Reading or a $70 10 card reading. I strive to meet you where you are, with your current means, with reverence.

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